found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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