As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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