...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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