the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
