She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
