she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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