i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize