You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
