I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
