We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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