Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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