I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
