I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
