I think im going to throw up on grandma
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
