you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
