I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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