textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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