Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize