I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
