Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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