there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
