I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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