On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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