We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
