So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you had me at cake vodka
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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