call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
