the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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