its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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