There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
