People with herpes should wear stickers.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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