my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
