Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
