You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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