if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
