69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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