the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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