Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
