i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
