We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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