why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
