I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
