He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
