so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
