Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think i have two assholes
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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