Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
