She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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