So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
