god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
