Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
