you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just forgot I was standing up.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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