Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
