So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
