no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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