so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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