After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
