I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have tasted many bathrooms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
