Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
