just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
