I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
