You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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