Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
