Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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