so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
