Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
