Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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