She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
