I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Jerry, you need to find god
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
