I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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