speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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