i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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